The Thinking Survey

1.What is more difficult: looking into someones eyes when telling how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they tell you how they feel?
I’m naturally empathetic, rational, and loyal all at the same time (INFJ, woot), so I’m a pretty good listener. I tend not to open up to others myself though. I feel too embarrassed and vulnerable even just considering telling people things little things. Looking somebody in the eyes while telling them something deep and personal would probably be harder for me than looking somebody in the eyes and listening to them tell me how they feel.

2. Think of the last time you were angry. Why were you angry?
The last time I got angry was fairly recently. I was frustrated because there’s a girl I like who I think I would be a great match for and she for me, but I’m shy/awkward/clueless about this stuff and don’t know how to get her to think of all the ways we’d be good for each other. Plus, I’m moving around this year enough that I don’t think she’d say yes anyway, even if I promised to come and visit as much as possible. It’s still frustrating to think about, but I’m at least a little bit more resigned to it now.

3. You will die in three minutes. Last call?
My mother.

4. If you could do anything OR wish anything, what would it be?
It would be very tempting to wish for Jedi powers and a lightsaber, but in the end, I’d wish for peace, health, and prosperity for all.

5. You can have one of the following two things: trust or love.
I want love. Trust will come from others with and without love.

6. You are walking to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss told you if you are late one more time you’re fired. Do you save the dog?

Since I have a heart, I’d save the dog. Then I’d call the animal control center so that they can pick up the dog and find its owner. While waiting for them to come, I also call my boss to tell them what happened, and I’ll be sure to use all the charm I can muster to deliver the line, “I still don’t think I’ll be late, but I wanted to keep you in the loop just in case!”

7. Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone?
Nope. I don’t conceal when consequences will happen, but I make sure it’s not a threat.

8. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give one year of your life. Do you do it?
I wouldn’t want anybody to do that for me, and I don’t think that anybody I know would want that either.

9. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
Yes.

10. Does sex=love?
Sex happens without love for other people, but I don’t think I could ever have sex with somebody unless I loved them. So for me, it’s not “equal” to love (you can’t replace one word with the other), but it would require love and could be taken as private act that proves how much you love and trust each other. But again, that’s for me. I don’t have anything against people who view it as more casual than that.

11. Are you old fashioned?
Depends on what you think that means. To me, it’s a super vague term, but I think that usually it means “somebody who dates with the goal of eventually finding their lifelong love (as opposed to purposely seeking short-term relationships or one-night stands) and sticks to monogamous relationships (as opposed to polygamy, swinging, or open relationships).” So with that definition, yes. But I really don’t mind other people wanting different kinds of relationships, so if my not having a problem with consenting adults doing whatever they want is enough to make me not old fashioned, then no.

12. Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex?
If I really love them, yes, with sadness and frustration but no hesitation.

13. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back?

If I find somebody and get close enough that I truly fally in love with them, then I think I’d be bursting with happiness and would want to tell them while excitededly pulling them into an embrace and then kissing them. I’d be blushing the whole time and would feel awkward, but I’d also be grinning helplessly. But it would still be hard to allow myself to let go of all my worries and do that. On the other hand, if somebody told me they loved me and I didn’t love them back, I’d just have to take a deep gulp and tell them as gently as I could, and I’d feel very sad, but I wouldn’t feel guilty. So if I had to pick one to do, I’d pick telling someone I love them, but I also think it would be harder for me to do.

14. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up?
Family and friends, technology, art and design, and good food.

15. Romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them?
Haven’t yet been in a relationship for a long enough period to have reached that point.

16. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, if you HAD to, even if you have “no regrets” what would you change?
I’d go back in time to when the first doctor ran the tests that correctly diagnosed some of the medical issues that became serious for me, and I wouldn’t let her dismiss them since she “didn’t believe in the numbers or the tests.” (Why did she even ask for those tests in the first place?) It would have saved me and my family several years of desperately going from doctor to doctor trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with me while I deteriorated in front of everybody.

17. Imagine. It is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?
If I felt threatened in that situation, first, I’d get a bit mad and outraged, and some things would flash across my mind, like “Who do they think they are? How dare they! Don’t they know what I’m capable of?” But almost immediately after getting pumped up like that, my natural response would be to start thinking of how I’d attack them. I started practicing karate when I was four and developed a fairly aggressive, best-defense-is-offense style when sparring people, so imagining different offensive attack plans is something I do instinctively at this point. And if I could have somebody there with me too? My dad. He’d crush them.

18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying?
Yes. Would I like it? Of course not, especially not the unrealistically gross one that this hypothetical forces you to picture in your mind. But I don’t think I could watch anybody die if I felt I could save them. I’d also try to call 911, or if somebody was nearby, yell at them to do so.

19. You are holding onto your grandmother’s dying hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other which one would it be?
I don’t know anybody that I think would want their dying elderly selves to be saved instead of a newborn baby. My family’s grandmothers are both dead, but I only recently met my biological paternal grandmother. She’s the sweetest person ever, so I know that she’d want me to save the baby too.

20. When and how was the last time you told someone how you REALLY feel?
I… don’t remember. :/

If You had three months to live:

21. Do you tell anyone or everyone you are going to die?
I’d probably post what was happening, so it would be a “pull” way of getting the information out to everybody, not a “push.” There are too many people that would need to know, so at least I’d have that information available for them this way. I would also specifically tell family and friends though.

22. What do you do with your remaining days?
I’d visit my family and friends, and I’d see who wanted to go travelling the world with me while I still could.

23. Would you be afraid?
When I go to sleep at night, I don’t usually have dreams anymore (or at least I have no memory at all of them when I wake up). I used to have lucid dreams pretty much every night, and they were usually nice, but I prefer dreamless sleep to lucid dreams because I like how there is absolutely no work, effort, worry, or stress. I believe death will feel exactly like neverending dreamless sleep, or to put it another way, the same peaceful nonexistance as before I was born. I admit that I am afraid of dying, but I am not afraid of being dead.

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English is wonderful and silly.

I love the English language. I’ve never felt constrained by it, and because it’s my native language, all of the little nuances that purportedly frustrate people learning it are completely natural to me. I feel like it’s a good enough language that the limitations in either the artistic or utilitarian sense are nearly always the fault of the speaker for not being articulate enough or having too small of a vocabulary.

Is it a quirky language? Yes, but in a way, that’s part of the charm. There are conventions that the majority of words adhere to, but there are also exceptions to the rules that give it variety and personality. People who speak different dialects of it can still communicate with one another while still being unique. Not all languages with multiple dialects can claim this, and I often think that people take English’s flexibility and dialect compatibility for granted.

But I’m not actually a linguist. I’m sure there are plenty of other languages that have the same positives with different (and maybe preferable) negatives.

Anyway, for your enjoyment, here’s a pretty entertaining look at some of the quirks in the English language. It’s called “The English Lesson,” and the author is unknown. I’ve seen multiple versions of this, so if you want more, then just google either the name of it or the first few lines.

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A terrifying adventure on my last day.

I had the last class of my freshman year on Friday. It started out absolutely awful, but by the end of it, I was definitely on cloud nine.

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Good news about my major.

We’ve all known for a while that my major, Digital Arts and Communications, is being absorbed by the Computer Art department at my school. For a long there were no announcements, “town hall” meetings, emails, or anything other than rumors. It was concerning, to say the least.

Recently, they quietly removed us from the list of majors on the main web site, but they still hadn’t told us anything. Those of us that went to personally meet with the head of the department each came back having been told different things about what was happening to us.

Some people said we would be our own strand within the Computer Art department, and others said we wouldn’t be separate at all but rather that our previously unique classes would just become available for everybody. Some people were saying that some of the classes that had been required would lose their status and just become art electives. At any rate, it wasn’t sounding very good to me, and I began to think about places I might like to transfer to if it came down to it.

Well, they finally sent us an email. And finally, I heard what I wanted to hear: we’re grandfathered in. Below is the email we finally got yesterday.

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What being a nice guy means.

A couple of my friends were discussing nice guys recently. Katie, who opened the conversation by writing a note on Facebook, posted a link to this Ode to Nice Guys and flattered me and some other male friends of hers by tagging us with it. My other friend Kendra politely contrasted the opinion of the piece by posting a link to this half-serious rant about why nice guys are “bleah!”

I’ve thought about this stuff by myself before, and I think that both Katie’s and Kendra’s papers have elements of truth as well as inaccuracy in them. And two goods rants deserve another.

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