It all started at the sleepovers at Chris’ house. We’d stay up in his room much too late for our own good just looking up at the glow-in-the-dark star covered ceiling and coming up with absurd names for bands, books, anything. We still like to mock things like that. It was us giggling much too loudly for his mother’s tastes at the world, which seemed to do a fantastic job of coming up with ridiculous names on its own but was always just so serious about it.

The years went on, and we got better and coming up with absurd names (I still think that “Undead Lampshade” could’ve made it as a rock band, and did I mention that the name of my first autobiography will be “Once-In-A-Lifetime Umbrella”). Some people actually get the joke and what we’re making fun of, other people don’t figure out that we’re mocking anything but still find it funny, and a few people just stare at us with their eyes full of dumb. I love that expression.

At any rate, my first “real” web site eventually came to be. When we were naming it, we applied the same honed technique (we had long since realized that plenty of web sites had started doing this seriously and thus our mockery continued) and produced the name “Bagelwood.” And we extended the sheer ridiculousness of it by taking on alter-egos based on it. Mine, as many of you know, is Professor Bagelwood, Chris is Conductor Bagelwood, and the third admin — our friend Justin — is Agent Bagelwood. We should’ve kept a top ten list of interactions with people who were miraculously able to take the name “Bagelwood” seriously. You seriously have no idea.

At any rate, I’ve got a new web site, and I do plan to continue this tradition of excellence. Call me Square Bottle.

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