This is the follow-up to my list of turn-ons.

Personality

Okay, try to imagine being stuck somewhere with somebody with all of these behavioral traits and see if you can’t feel your stomach tighten and your eyes bulge a little.

1. Misandry. Some women will casually assert pretty degrading things about men as if it was just a given that we’re inherently dumb, violent, perverted animals and then shrug it off by saying “Boys will be boys” or something like that. How can any guy even want to be in the same room with somebody who genuinely believes that stuff? Barf!
2. “Princess.” If you ever use that word to describe yourself or how you’d like others to treat you, then… I’m just going to barf some more. Acting like a princess invariably means lots of whining, being too delicate to play with, and generally being self-centered. A relationship with this kind of person just sounds like a chore.
3. Brick wall. This one is especially apparent on dating web site profiles that don’t list any interests, but it can be a real issue in real life too. You don’t need to be super chatty (I hope you aren’t). I just need to be able to talk to you about something other than the weather. I’m sure there’s plenty of stuff we both like, so don’t make it hard to find out what they are. Heh
4. Rebel without a cause. Look, it’s always nice to meet a girl who isn’t afraid of being different. In fact, that’s the only kind of girl I’d want to hang out with. But that doesn’t mean thoughtlessly doing the opposite of what everybody else does. In fact, that’s just as mindless as the opposite, but usually more abrasive since that’s the point.
5. Invalid criticism. If you’re going to give suggestions or call out flaws, then you better not just be coming up with bullshit so that you have something to say. Give a compliment instead, or don’t say anything at all.

Physical

This is a bit more touchy for most people, but the intention isn’t to be judgmental. Plenty of people like these things. In fact, chances are that you disagree with me on at least one of them. That’s exactly what makes all of this so interesting!

1. Tattoos and lots of piercings. It’s hard not to like a smooth, firm neck or tummy. There’s something really nice about it, and for me, tattoos and excessive piercings make me “snap out of it” before I can really relax and let myself admire it. Can you imagine if the classical sculptures had tattoos and piercings everywhere? And I’m not squeamish, but some piercings make me wince and feel uncomfortable, like belly button piercings. Earrings can be nice though.
2. High-waistline dresses and belts. There’s a certain kind of dress that has the waistline almost right below the bosom and then the skirt part comes outward a little too. I think it’s supposed to make the wearer look like a doll or upside-down flower, but it just makes them look proportionately awkward and possibly pregnant. It’s also popular to wear super wide belts really high up, almost like a corset. Guess what? I don’t like corsets.
3. Hairiness. Now here’s a politically charged one! Is it unfair that us guys aren’t expected to shave our bodies? Yes, but beauty has nothing do with with fairness. And hey, I don’t let my armpit hair get out of control either, which is more than most guys do. I’m sure you can find plenty of pictures of nice looking girls with a little bit of hair on their legs or under the arms trying to make a point, but for me, these cases are highlighting exceptions.
4. Counter-culture billboard. See the irony there? I’m looking at you, goth-punk girl. Anyway, I know there are plenty of people who dress themselves up this way who are really cool if you talk to them, but it’s hard not to associate this with the “rebel without a cause” personality trait.
5. Giant, exaggerated breasts. This just isn’t my thing. They just don’t even look right, and it’s made worse because the girls who think guys like this will of course do whatever they can to make them as big as possible and draw your gaze down. If you’re naturally big that’s different, but please don’t shove them in my face. Newsflash: guys like eyes, which means that contrary to what you learned from Sex and the City, we like eye contact.

Leave a comment to say what you agree or disagree with. And I’d love to hear from you too, girls.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 8th, 2009 at 10:48 pm and is filed under All Entries. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.