Archive for the ‘All Entries’ Category
-
“10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.”
This extra short in-class writing assignment was an exercise in being frugal with words. The first sentence had to have exactly 10 words, then the next one had to have 9, then 8, and so on.
“I can’t believe it’s not butter!” sang the boy, grinning. He was just like a commercial: thrilled, bouncing, mindless.
Is this what today’s youth has come to? Superheroes and spaceships replaced by stupid slogans? Where did all the dreams go? Boy, we let them down. We were terrible shepherds.
It’s too late. We’re zombies. Dead.
-
“Don’t say what’s happening.”
For each of these three quick in-class writing assignments, the instructor gave us a few things that the stories had to include, but the fun part was that we weren’t allowed to directly state some of them. I’ll include the bullets after each story so you can see if you figured out what was going on.
I think the third one is the most amusing, but also the most obscure.
-
“Where were you last night?”
For this in-class writing assignment, we had to write a story that hinged on a character asking, “Where were you last night?” We had about ten minutes to write it. After that, we had to write the same story from the other character’s point of view.
I definitely like the second one more than the first one, even though I forgot a few things since we had to write really quickly.
-
“Your tie is coming loose.”
This was a very, very quick and dirty in-class writing assignment where we were just supposed to make a character with a few qualities and stick them in a situation. Before that though, we made a list of five qualities. For our writing, we had to give the character the opposites of those qualities without being too conspicuous.
Just remember that these in-class prompts are done in like 5-20 minutes (this one was about 5), and I’m transcribing them verbatim from my notebook. Mileage varies.
Qualities
- Inquisitive – Uninterested
- Rational – Illogical
- Merciful – Unsympathetic
- Creative – Unimaginative
- Articulate – Undescriptive
Short Story
“Your tie is coming loose,” said Thomas without even looking up. The barrista ignored him, so Thomas said it again. “Your tie is coming loose.”
The pimply barrista slapped a plastic top over the the whipped cream island, raising a brow slightly.
“I’m not wearing a tie, sir.”
“I know,” said Thomas blandly. “I meant your apron-smock-thing, in the back.”
-
Turn-offs
This is the follow-up to my list of turn-ons.
Personality
Okay, try to imagine being stuck somewhere with somebody with all of these behavioral traits and see if you can’t feel your stomach tighten and your eyes bulge a little.
- Misandry. Some women will casually assert pretty degrading things about men as if it was just a given that we’re inherently dumb, violent, perverted animals and then shrug it off by saying “Boys will be boys” or something like that. How can any guy even want to be in the same room with somebody who genuinely believes that stuff? Barf!
- “Princess.” If you ever use that word to describe yourself or how you’d like others to treat you, then… I’m just going to barf some more. Acting like a princess invariably means lots of whining, being too delicate to play with, and generally being self-centered. A relationship with this kind of person just sounds like a chore.
- Brick wall. This one is especially apparent on dating web site profiles that don’t list any interests, but it can be a real issue in real life too. You don’t need to be super chatty (I hope you aren’t). I just need to be able to talk to you about something other than the weather. I’m sure there’s plenty of stuff we both like, so don’t make it hard to find out what they are. Heh
- Rebel without a cause. Look, it’s always nice to meet a girl who isn’t afraid of being different. In fact, that’s the only kind of girl I’d want to hang out with. But that doesn’t mean thoughtlessly doing the opposite of what everybody else does. In fact, that’s just as mindless as the opposite, but usually more abrasive since that’s the point.
- Invalid criticism. If you’re going to give suggestions or call out flaws, then you better not just be coming up with bullshit so that you have something to say. Give a compliment instead, or don’t say anything at all.
Physical
This is a bit more touchy for most people, but the intention isn’t to be judgmental. Plenty of people like these things. In fact, chances are that you disagree with me on at least one of them. That’s exactly what makes all of this so interesting!
- Tattoos and lots of piercings. It’s hard not to like a smooth, firm neck or tummy. There’s something really nice about it, and for me, tattoos and excessive piercings make me “snap out of it” before I can really relax and let myself admire it. Can you imagine if the classical sculptures had tattoos and piercings everywhere? And I’m not squeamish, but some piercings make me wince and feel uncomfortable, like belly button piercings. Earrings can be nice though.
- High-waistline dresses and belts. There’s a certain kind of dress that has the waistline almost right below the bosom and then the skirt part comes outward a little too. I think it’s supposed to make the wearer look like a doll or upside-down flower, but it just makes them look proportionately awkward and possibly pregnant. It’s also popular to wear super wide belts really high up, almost like a corset. Guess what? I don’t like corsets.
- Hairiness. Now here’s a politically charged one! Is it unfair that us guys aren’t expected to shave our bodies? Yes, but beauty has nothing do with with fairness. And hey, I don’t let my armpit hair get out of control either, which is more than most guys do. I’m sure you can find plenty of pictures of nice looking girls with a little bit of hair on their legs or under the arms trying to make a point, but for me, these cases are highlighting exceptions.
- Counter-culture billboard. See the irony there? I’m looking at you, goth-punk girl. Anyway, I know there are plenty of people who dress themselves up this way who are really cool if you talk to them, but it’s hard not to associate this with the “rebel without a cause” personality trait.
- Giant, exaggerated breasts. This just isn’t my thing. They just don’t even look right, and it’s made worse because the girls who think guys like this will of course do whatever they can to make them as big as possible and draw your gaze down. If you’re naturally big that’s different, but please don’t shove them in my face. Newsflash: guys like eyes, which means that contrary to what you learned from Sex and the City, we like eye contact.
Leave a comment to say what you agree or disagree with. And I’d love to hear from you too, girls.
Loading ...
